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November 17, 2006

Friday Recap: Parking Optimization Edition

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My week got off to a sad start after reading a BoingBoing post that reported a blasphemous Massachusetts judge ruled that the burrito is NOT a sandwich. That is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Of course it’s a sandwich. It’s also a breakfast omelet, the perfect afternoon snack, and a complete three course meal. Crazy non-Californians. [Says the girl from Long Island. Don't try to get Cali cred now, you Sox fan. --Susan] — I can’t be a NY-bred Sox fan who loves a good burrito? Psh, don’t try to put me in a box.

Shimon Sandler finally figured out how to answer that “what do you do for a living” question that I hate so much. I’m still fine tuning my own answer. As proven by the curious looks and blank stares I received on the plane to Ad:Tech, “writer”, “blogger” and “Internet Marketing copywriter” are all horrible, horrible answers that make people assume I live in my parent’s basement.

Ms. Dewey, who I now officially loathe, got far too much attention this week, mostly because Sex Goddess Kim Krause has formed an “unhealthy obsession” with her (hey, I didn’t say it, Matt Bailey did!). She’s not the only one though; MarketingVox went as far as to call her “strikingly beautiful”. Please. More like strikingly annoying. [We took a poll in the office; no one rated her as more than "attractive". Ms. Dewey, not Lisa. Lisa is adorable even if she does look like she's 12.--Susan] Sad, but true.

However, all the attention has given me the idea for that startup I’m going to create. You heard it here first – I’ve decided I’m going to create my own insulting search engine called Mistress Lisa (a nickname coined by an old boss. Gross, right?). It’s sure to be vastly popular, considering I am (a) nine shades of adorable, and (b) far more clever than Ms. Dewey could ever hope to be.

(By reading Matt’s post I also learned that Kim will be attending SES Chicago. Huzzah! I will track you down see you there.)

Phil Lenssen points us to the Yahoo Color Schemes generator that presents you with the most commonly used color palettes to describe a given search term. Sure, it’s fun to see which yellows are associated with a banana, but have you ever wondered what my wardrobe looks like? Yep, that’s a pretty accurate representation.

Also from Phil, the big news this week was that Yahoo! finally beat Google in the Battle of the Net. Unfortunately for Yahoo!, it was only a tennis match. I guess you’ve got to start somewhere.

This made me giggle: Microsoft exec Robbie Bach blames the awful brown Zune color on his poor daughter. Way to go, Dad.

If you didn’t catch DazzlinDonna’s Guide to Gambling, you should go read it because it’s hysterical. I’ve never been gambling myself, but I imagine my own methods will be pretty close to what Donna’s preaching here. [She relates search engine optimization to gambling but that sounds so much more like pay per click to me. SEO is all about the long term. Like marathons. --Susan]

Just in time for PubCon, Jim Boykin posted Pictures of SEO People, which is pretty much a who’s who of the industry. I can’t wait for SES Chicago, I’ll just print out this baby and check ‘em off as I go. It’s a little scorecard. Thanks, Jim.

Speaking of PubCon, deep inside one of Barry’s session recaps was a video from Greg Hartnett that shows a ‘fight’ his young hockey player son was involved in. Between the frantic ice scurrying, the running towards safety and the slapping (yes, the slapping) – it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Also, props for the Islander jerseys. The Islanders rock.

Okay, last PubCon mention; I just need to get this off my chest. I was shocked, horrified and heartbroken while perusing Barry Schwartz’s pictures from Wednesday’s Yahoo! party, which includes a photo of former BC employee Becky Ryan receiving a massage from my man-I mean Rand. Clearly there is no honor among thieves. I thought we were friends, Becky!

Speaking of Barry, over at Cartoon Barry he reveals that the RustyBrick messenger bags have arrived. Super cool. I’m not sure why I’m so excited by this. I think I may have a messenger bag fetish. Fear not, I’m seeking help.

Steve Bryant illustrates that God Loves Google but Yahoo can go to Hell. Ouch.

Also, Steve Jobs says “boom” a lot and it makes me giggle uncontrollably. Is it my fault I break into giggle fits when people recite words so often it renders the word unrecognizable? Again – seeking help.

Lastly and sadly, Variety published an obituary for the VHS. Though the death is being attributed to natural causes, I can’t help but be sad about this great loss. How am I supposed to watch my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies without VHS? They’re just not the same when pirated. Growing up is tough. Can I ask for a moment of silence here?

[Lisa didn't mention it but I want to. Over at Marketing Pilgrim, Andy wants to know why Yahoo bought the karaoke video site, Bix. While I don't have an answer for him (though I suspect it has to do with the fact that Yahoo collects users like Google collects information), I do want to support the idea he had in the comments. Karaoke SEO videos should totally be the next contest. Best Matt Cutts impression wins! --Susan] — Um, way to RUIN my moment of silence!





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