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December 11, 2006

The Fun Weekend Update

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I’ll admit, though I read my feeds obsessively over the weekend, being out of town all last week still has me feeling out of the loop. However, now that a glossy photo of me and my Rand has replaced my ex-fiancé’s wall space, I’m starting to feel more settled. Let’s get caught up together, shall we?

Why bother with search engine optimization?

Clearly we’ve all been wasting our time. The way to get your site to the top of Google’s SERP is to email all the blogs listed above you and ask them to bow out. Forget this optimization stuff.

This is genius. Loren Baker reports that an online store owner is threatening to sue blogger Dean Hunt unless he "lowers his Google ranking" (is there a knob?) for a keyword phrase the store owner feels he deserves. The store emailed Dean, saying in part:

"I haev [sic] checked your blog and it has nothing to do with [edited], so I think it would be best all round if you remove your blog from google for this search term. Please understand that we make our living from this, and you are just writing a blog that has nothing to do with [edited]. If you do not remove yourself from google for this search, then I will call them myself and have you removed.

Oh, I’d love to hear that phone conversation. Obviously the store owner doesn’t understand that informational sites (i.e. blogs) tend to be given more weight by the engines than merchant sites, but still, his request is pretty amusing. Especially after he sent poor Dean a follow-up email saying he has already contacted a lawyer and that it’s in Google’s interest for his site to rank higher than Dean’s blog.

Dean, who clearly has a sense of humor, responded that if Google responds to the store owner’s ridiculous quest, he’d love a copy of the email. He says he’s already prepared a nice little place on his wall to hang it. Heh.

Vote or Die

I apologize for the Diddy reference, but it’s the end of the year and it’s time to vote for things that ultimately do not matter! (Or maybe I’m just bitter because I never win anything.)

Over at Search Engine Journal, Loren Baker is asking readers to vote for the best search blogs of 2006. I’d like to thank the three people who voted for Bruce Clay, heh. I love you all.

Voting is going strong over at Search Marketing Gurus, where Li Evans is reaping the benefits from her HatBait campaign. Though Chris Smith is getting some last minute love, it’s a close race between Karl "Firefox" Ribas and Neil "I’m a pretty, pretty princess" Patel. Both are great guys, but because I had to choose, my vote went to Karl.

Lastly, because she’s awesome, Kim Krause has organized her own blog awards with offbeat categories such as Best Blog By a Non-Human With Big White Gloves Whose Name is Roy, Best I-Didn’t-Write-An-SEO-Book Blog, and Best Non-Accessible, Not Usable Blog. All very cool categories.

Personally, I’d appreciate it if you voted for me in the Favorite Blog Author Who Writes for Somebody Else’s Blog and Should Seriously Start There Own Blog, Blog category.

Join the Fishsticks

I received an email this morning from my new best friend, SEO Fangirl, inquiring about possibly starting up a new search cult. Matt has his Cuttlets and, as of today, Rand will have his Fishsticks. I know, I know, you’re excited. Me too.

I dream of Fishstick T-shirts, hoodies, mouse pads, wallpaper (for your bedroom, not your cell phone) and so much more. Once we are properly outfitted, we will take over Seattle in June. Muahaha.

Fun Finds

Rand gives Matt Cutts a multiple choice test over at SEOmoz, helping us all to learn a little more about Google and Matt’s role there. We also learn that Matt wouldn’t date me if he was single. That hurts, man. That hurts.

Now that most of us know the true identity of SEOFangirl, there’s a new mystery for eager detectives to solve: Who is SEOFanguy? I don’t know, but based on the redesign his blog just got over the weekend, I’d say we’re going to hear a lot more from him. For what it’s worth, that is the hottest blogroll I’ve ever seen!

Ms. Dewey? What are you doing? Oh my god, cover your eyes!

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