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September 22, 2006

Friday Recap: Leave Me Alone Edition

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The Daily Mail found that British offices are getting increasingly quieter as almost fifty percent of workers admit they often email the person sitting next to them to avoid having to make verbal contact. I don’t find that surprising. Susan and I have desks touching and facing each other and we email back and forth constantly. It’s not laziness; it’s that I know disturbing her iTunes rotation puts me in great danger of getting a piece of chocolate thrown at my head. Plus, the music must help her work, right?

The site also found that five percent of Brits listen to music purely to stop coworkers from talking to them. Oh really? Excuse me while I go have a talk with Susan. [Heck, I don’t even bother with the music. I just have headphones on to discourage people from talking to me. Don’t judge me, you do it too. –Susan]

If you’re not anti-social and enjoy conversing with coworkers, here are some new office slang terms to help you better express yourself. Highlights:

404 – Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn’t be located. "Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404."

Batmobiling – putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in "she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling"

Ohnosecond – That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.

Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

Another good way to start up a conversation with people at work: Shadow puppetry. Excellent. He’ll be able to go on the road with that one pretty soon.

There’s a provocative YouTube video making the rounds that shows excerpts from several video blogs (via GMSV) and gives watchers an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of their stomach. It’s gorgeous and disturbing in that train wreck sort of way.

Stephanie Quilao showed me how to use “Oprah speak” to finally explain RSS to my mother. You have to break it down slowly:

“…in Oprah speak, RSS stands for: I’m "Ready for Some Stories". It is a way online for you to get a quick list of the latest story headlines from all your favorite websites and blogs all in one place. How cool is that?”

Very cool, thanks, Stephanie. If you give me Oprah’s definition of a blog perhaps I could start speaking to my mother again! Can you include a diagram with that one too?

(Hat-Tip Steve Rubel)

[For more parent-related laughs, I also recommend checking out Ask Skeptic’s Mom: What’s Tagging.]

Bloggers got their swag on this week: Michael and Jeremy (fine, his came last week) got lava lamps for being a part of the AdSense video program and Barry Schwartz hit the mother load simply because he’s a cool guy. In other news, I’ve had serious Ask Messenger Bag envy since Wednesday.

Another week brings another Top 21 list (21 is the new 10). This time it came from Matt McGee and gave readers the Top 21 Signs You Need a Break from SEO. The list included some amusing tell-tale signs, but its true genius came from the more than a dozen instances of blatant name dropping meant to inspire links back – which it often did. Well played, Matt, well played.

Phil Lenssen kept me adequately distracted yesterday with his link to an M&M promotional game that asks users to identify 50 horror and suspense movies based on visual clues. It’s hard, and addicting, and the music alone will give you nightmares. Earlier in the week he told us the story of the Google Murder. Phil’s getting a little dark lately, isn’t he?

Speaking of nightmares and horror films, Dumb Little Man shows how keeping a public Google Calendar could kill you. Eek. You know, I never thought of that. It’s sort of like a high tech version of Home Alone.

Over at InsideGoogle, Nathan makes us giggle uncomfortably as he ponders the ROI on suicide clickers and reveals that Google allows certain publishers extra AdSense features, including letting them select ad keywords for blog entries.

Hmm, are you seeing weird themes emerge from this week’s Friday Recap? It started out lighthearted!

Jack Nicholson is an idiot. Go Red Sox!

[P. P.S. Most. Depressing. Update. Ever. –Susan]

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