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November 13, 2006

Weekend Update + a Bruce Clay, Inc. Secret Revealed!!

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By the time you read this, your customers will be gone

A JupiterResearch study (via WebProNews) found that 33 percent of consumers who use a broadband connection will wait no more than four seconds for a Web page to load. That’s four seconds until your audience determines you are too slow to meet their needs, forms a negative brand impression about you, and tells everyone they know what a loser your site is. No pressure.

The report also notes that 75 percent of online shoppers who experience a site that freezes or crashes, is too slow to render, or involves a convoluted checkout process will no longer buy from that site. Would you pass that test?

As a site owner, it’s more important than ever to make sure your site is running on a dedicated IP, that graphics and video render quickly, and that your site is equipped to handle the surge in traffic that comes with the holiday season. You may want to go take a look at your site.

New Guidelines for Mobile

You’ve heard the buzz, now it’s time to familiarize yourself with the rules. MediaPost announced that the Mobile Marketing Association has issued new guidelines for mobile ads. Go learn.

Kim Rants So We Don’t Have To

I try not to use the Bruce Clay, Inc. blog for bra-burning rants (I really need to create my own blog…), so I was very happy to see that Kim (aka Sex Goddess) responded to Phil Lenssen’s Popular Blog Post, where he highlighted a list of top bloggers. Everyone on Phil’s list had one noticeable trademark in common – they were all men. It seems the blogosphere’s boys club is still firmly intact. Awesome.

Phil, who we love and don’t mean to pick on, stated he had emailed bloggers of both genders but that no women responded in time. Fair enough, but why not give them more time? Creating a more diverse list of bloggers would have been far more informative and interesting for readers. He also wouldn’t have offended his entire female readership.

A Secret Revealed

Okay, it’s the part of the post you’ve been waiting for. It’s clear that SEO Fangirl has officially outed me and ruined my cover as just another Bruce Clay, Inc employee. She is right, the reason you have not seen a picture of me with any of the BC gang is because I am not who I have claimed to be these past 9 months.

The fact is…I am Rand’s Mystery Guest.

It’s true. I live in Seattle, have a hot boyfriend named Rand, and am best friends with Rebecca. Actually, I’ve never even stepped foot inside Bruce’s Simi Valley, CA search engine optimization headquarters.

To prove my case, I present you with a 100 percent undoctored photo of myself with pal Danny Sullivan, and the one that I adore the most – my Rand.

The truth is out. Happy?

Heh. Okay, so maybe it’s not true. However, I do look forward to crossing paths with both SEO Fangirl and Rebecca during the next conference. We will unite and bring much mayhem. Muahaha.

[Well, it’s better than the theory that Lisa and Bruce are the same person, I guess. –Susan] — Hmm, I don’t know. The Bruce theory is funnier, but being Mystery Guest comes with better perks (i.e. direct access to Rand).

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