Accept No SEO Substitutes

If I told you that you could have the body of your dreams in five minutes and all you’d feel is a pinch, would you do it? Would you believe it? Or would you recognize it’s too good to be true?

This guy was willing to go for the fast fix:

Epic Synthol Fail – Watch more Funny Videos

Too bad no one’s buying it. The guy looks like a plastic Ken doll that’s been zapped in a microwave. And it’s all thanks to synthol, a substance injected directly into the muscle to give the appearance of a lifetime of pumping iron. Synthol is a site enhancement oil, or SEO.


Our brand of SEO, search engine optimization, has gotten a bad wrap as oil in the past — in this case, snake oil. Certainly businesses must protect themselves against alleged SEOs who obscure their value with technical jargon and tactics only suited for the short-term, but not at the expense of legitimate Internet marketing. So when claims start flying around like SEO is dying, it kills me because SEO done right will never be obsolete. That’s like saying quality content, logical site architecture, knowing your customers and being relevant to their needs aren’t necessary.

However, if you’re arguing for the end of cheap tricks and shortcuts, count me in. The risks inherent in less-than-white-hat SEO aren’t worth the effort and money that will be washed away in time. At best, you look bogus and deformed, and at worst, you explode and deflate. If it’s a search engine evaluating you, the former is decreased rankings and the latter can be penalties or banishment. And that sticky snake oil is a pain to clean up.

So forget the fast fix and the SEO steroids and put some real muscle into it. Your site and your business are worth it.

Virginia Nussey is the director of content marketing at MobileMonkey. Prior to joining this startup in 2018, Virginia was the operations and content manager at Bruce Clay Inc., having joined the company in 2008 as a writer and blogger.

See Virginia's author page for links to connect on social media.

Comments (10)
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10 Replies to “Accept No SEO Substitutes”

I haven’t laughed in days Virginia, thanks for the post on steroid man. I had a desk right next to one of these guys a few years back, he pounded away on the keyboard doing all his “secret” SEO garbage and I simply created great content. When all was said and done all my sites outranked all his clever little ideas. These idiots make it much harder than it has to be, plus in the end all their little tricks end up biting them and they are sent right back to square one. All I can say for dudette is he better find another line of work or seriously consider applying for some type of Government assistance because he’ll never make it in the seo service industry.

I have to get out of here, I just looked at the pic again and am busting my gut laughing….: -) thanks again Virginia

Virginia Nussey

Bahahaha! So you know Mr. Steroid SEO, too! We should all grab pizza and a beer some time. But I don’t recommend you have what he’s having. He always gets the juice. (Wa wa.) :D

smiley didn’t work for me Virginia, shoot…….

Virginia Nussey

Hmm. Want me to fix it and delete your comment at 4:45?

Virginia Nussey

Thanks, Hazel. No shortcuts but slow and steady will win the race.

Shaun Sadree

SEO is the way to go, if you understand that it just doesn’t work over night. Good article.

Virginia Nussey

You tell it, Shaun. No silver bullet.

Sad to say, but there still some that are lazy enough to buy into the so-called “easy” methods of SEO.
Snake oil as it is… a quick fix and never enduring. You don’t want to invest your time and resources on something that you know will fail eventually (and on most occasions, right away). If only Online Reputation is like an “Etch A Sketch”, but it’s not. Like you said, you’ll need a lot of cleansers and detergents to clean it up, and that costs a lot.
Great post Virginia, and thanks for the very disturbing video. I now know what a man looks like after a boob job. =)

Virginia Nussey

Hahaha! Total backfire as the guy wanted to look more masculine and ended up looking more feminine. Sorry, dude.


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