Friday Recap 05/18/2007
Hey, kids. It’s Friday. Rebecca Kelley got me sick. Let’s get to it.
Everyone’s looking for a soundtrack lately. Danny’s looking for some mood music for SMX (you mean no jazzy Michael Bolton or Whitney Houston like at SES? Bummer!), while Hillary Clinton is looking for a campaign theme song. Let’s hope her platform is stronger than her music choices: Shania Twain? Smash Mouth? KT Tunstall? For serious? [Pssst, Danny! SMX needs more cowbell. --Susan]
Speaking of mood music, last week I presented you with the 25 most depressing songs in the world and I fear that you now may be teetering too close to the edge. To make amends, here are five songs guaranteed to make you insanely happy. Or, you can forget the tunes and just go look at funny cloud pictures.
While I’m repenting, I’ll also apologize to the folks at Gray Hat News. Apparently, we’re encroaching on their sarcasm patent. Sorry, guys. Them Whom We Will Shortly Need A Send A Cease And Desist Order For Break Of Our Patent On Sarcasm will try to keep it down. [That new nickname initializes to Twwwsntsacadfboopos, by the way. I say we call Lisa "Boopos" from here on out. Who's with me? Jabecca? --Susan] - What did I tell you about encouraging the Mozzers bad behavior? Knock it off!
Watch as Robert Scoble explains how he’s able to read 27,000 feeds a day. To turn it into a fun drinking game, take a drink each time you see a shot of his hands, teeth, or when he laughs so hard that his body convulses and goes totally out of frame.
Move over Andy Hagans, Patrick Sexton is the new master linkbaiter. First he’s baiting Barry, now he’s baiting Bruce with some weird story about a bathtub, a refrigerator, and a showerhead. I was confused, but he likes the blog so he’s cool. [I like the progression as you read that entry. At first, you're just baffled then you kinda get it then you're heart-warmed. Then there's the awesome BC pimp. A++, would read again! -Susan]
Nathan Weinberg’s laptop overheated so he put it in the freezer. Say what? Are you making that silly scrunched up face too or am I the only one fearing Nathan is insane. Hands?
I always suspected that Cartoon Barry was just a front for some seedy porn ring and it turns out I was right. He tries to hide behind unassuming posts like "look how white my teeth are", "I like soap", and "sushi’s gross", but deep down Barry Schwartz is all about one thing: Cartoon porn.
Ten month old Bubba Ludwig was issued a gun permit after his oh-so-clever father jokingly filled out an application for him. Is it scarier to you that a baby can legally own a gun or that in 2007 parents are still nicknaming their children "Bubba"?
You think your grandmother is pretty weird, don’t ya? Oh, yeah, well does she have a horn? I didn’t think so. Go ahead and send that belated Mother’s Day card. She can open it with her horn.
Right here is the best reason ever to wear a helmet. See, kids, crush the plastic, not your skull.
This guy is making me feel completely unproductive. He got more done while on hold for Sprint Customer Care than I did all week.
I’m not a huge fan of tattoos, but if you’re going to go there, at least get a good tattoo artist. Otherwise, your plenty adorable new wife comes out looking like the corpse bride.
Speaking of new brides, Mother Jones cracked the case on why divorce rates have gone down. It’s because women are smarter than they were 20 years ago and fewer of us are getting married.
Daily Mail proves that my childhood request for a pet monkey was not as crazy as my parents led me to believe. This guy had a lion. A monkey is totally more reasonable than a lion.
Things I Learned From Boing Boing This Week
- Kids come up with funny answers when you ask them serious questions.
- Some guys never outgrow their obsession with Popeye.
- Random body parts are funny. Don’t believe me? Then you haven’t met the calf with two noses or the guy who has an ear in his arm. See? Comedy!
- Prozac celebrated its 20th birthday this week. It was too busy trembling and shaking to notice.
- Whales look like massive sea turtles when they decompose. Also, decomposing whales are really disgusting to look at.
- Call it a designer chair if you want, but I’m still pretty sure I’m not sitting in it.
- There are uses for Lysol I never would have imagined.
- Glowing green baby lamp! Glowing green baby lamp! Wait – A hundred dollars for a glowing green baby lamp? Are you insane?