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March 23, 2007

Friday Recap 03/23/2007

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Happy Friday!

I completed my bi-yearly adventure in SEOToolSet training this week by attending the one-day Advanced SEOToolSet Certification class held yesterday. I learned lots of great techie optimization tactics that will keep me in the favor of Mr. McGoo McGee; however, that wasn’t the highlight of the day for me (sorry, Bruce). The most fun thing that happened during training was when a faithful reader came over to introduce himself. He was glad to meet me because he had a very important question to ask me. His question went something like this:

"Tell me the truth. Does "Susan" really exist or did you just make her up for the blog?"

Ha! As much as I wish Susan was just a nasty figment of my imagination that could be treated with medication, I’m sad to report that she does truly exist. To prove her annoying existence, here’s a recent photo. She still claims not to know what happened to the office copier. Dirty liar. [How many times do I have to fire you in the same week? –Susan] Until you unchain me from my desk and allow me to actually go home.

With all the talk this week about A-list bloggers, credible bloggers, and bloggers now being afraid to blog at all, Todd Malicoat instructed all of us on How to be an Idiot Blogger that No One Likes. It’s awesome. Number 18 is my favorite.

At Creating Passionate Users, Kathy Sierra asks Is Your App an Ass-kisser? I don’t know about my app, but my supervisor is. Zing! [If only my minion was. Why didn’t I hire someone nice as well as talented? Hey, Tamar, want to come work for us? We provide donuts!–Susan] Yeah, yeah! Barry, you wanna trade sidekicks?

Susan and xkcd decided it’d be fun to play on my fear of nasty keyboards this week:

Thanks. Appreciate that. Jerks.

Lee Odden gave readers 5 Reasons to Attend Search Engine Strategies NYC. I’d like to give you another me – Me! :) I’m kidding, mostly. However, I will be posting my SES schedule soon, so keep an eye out.

If you ever find yourself on some weird trivia show and they ask you "what’s the grossest snack ever created?" the answer is bacon-wrapped, cheese-filled, battered and fried hot dogs. Just reading that sentence earns you a trip to the gym. Get going.

Here’s a fun caffeine database to tell you how to get the most out of your caffeine fix and help those hands stop shaking.

If you need a giggle, Wikipedia offers an amusing look at stuff that didn’t make it past their top notch editors. My favorite is the definition of "Plato". (Yes, I’m defiantly breaking Susan’s You’re Not Allowed To Talk About Wikipedia rule today. Take that!) [The rule is you’re not allowed to complain about Wikipedia. This is fine. –Susan] -Oh, I feel so much better now that I have your blessing. *defiant eye roll*

If you’re looking to spruce up that boring d├ęcor, here’s 12 Ways to Pimp Your Office. I want absolutely everything on that list.

Finally, a captcha test I don’t have to tilt my head at odd angles to decipher. Kitty, Not Kitty, Not Kitty, Not Kitty. See?

A big thanks to the folks behind 901am for showing me how to deal with confusing job titles. I totally agree with them. The best way to avoid a condescendingly look or blank stare when I explain my job is simply to tell my family I write for a marketing company. From now on I will completely leave out words such as "blog", "internet", or "search engine". My dad still thinks I made those shirts myself. The shame.

Last week, WikiHow told us how to play drown the penny and this week it’s How to Help Your Child Accept A New Baby. The article is fine, but the pictures are disturbing. I’d say next week we’re going to learn How to Tell Your Red-Headed Child He’s Adopted, followed by How Not To Hold Your Child Like A Football. Nice work guys.

Have you met Knut? He’s kind of a heartbreaker. I want to take him home and cuddle.

Did you know it was illegal to transport milk across state lines with the intention to sell? Consider my plans for the weekend squashed.

The New Yorker collected the wisdom of children. I’m not sure if they’re funny or just disturbing. The same goes for what people say in court.

Things I Learned From BoingBoing This Week:

  • You’re insane. You must be if you think I’m going to walk on that thing. Not for a second. I won’t even tap my foot on it to test its strength. [For once, we agree. –Susan]
  • There are slightly worse people to travel with than Susan.
  • Sugar that looks like ants is HILARIOUS. Until you confuse a family of ants for sugar and end up drinking a bunch of floaters. Not so funny then, is it?
  • People will buy anything if it’s geeky enough.
  • Tables topped with giant post-its are way awesome.
  • The only thing worse than a cockroach is a headless cockroach.
  • More corners equal yummier brownies. [Not true! The center squares are the best. –Susan] Quiet, child. How many times do I have to tell you that no one cares about you or your opinion?
  • Starbucks doesn’t care about homeless people.

And Matt, feel free to return my catchphrase whenever you’re done using it, kthnx.

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5 responses to “Friday Recap 03/23/2007”

  1. Matt Cutts writes:

    I was just trying it on for size. It’s pretty nice!

    Here you go: huzzah! :)

    Oh, and I have to admit that I bought one of those brownie pans for my Dad. Mark me down for edge brownies. They combine the best parts of the cornerpiece-world and the middlepiece-world.

  2. Lee Odden writes:

    Oh yes Lisa, you are indeed another most excellent reason for SES NYC. I’m with you on the nasty keyboards too, ewwwww.

  3. Lisa writes:

    Rebecca — Sorry, Rebecca, but you’re dead wrong on both accounts. Funny, I thought you were smarter than that. I’m looking at you with my disappointed eyes.

    Susan — Stop talking. No one was addressing you. Shh.

  4. Susan Esparza writes:

    I sort of like the idea that I’m made up. It means that Lisa spends a great deal of time talking to herself–which she does!

  5. Rebecca Kelley writes:

    I agree with Susan (did I just write that? And yes, I also think she’s made up)–the middle brownie squares are the best.

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